Induction to the Assimilation Programme
“Aw shucks! I didn’t think I needed to be “assimilated” to the institute, especially since I had already been “inducted” in my first year!” thought Kabir when he had first noticed the announcement of the Assimilation Programme.
In an exclusive interview with The Scholars Avenue, Kabir speaks about his experience about the Assimilation programme. You may notice a mild usage of mature language but, we feel that it is important to not censor anything so as to best represent the emotions of the sophomore fraternity.
Bai(TSA Boss) is the one talking to Kabir, while Kat is the one responsible for recording and turning it into an article.
Excerpts:
Bai: Hello, Kabir! Why don’t you introduce yourself?
Kabir: Hello guys! I’m Kabir. A second-year Sophomore student and an Illumination worker (at least for the next few weeks) here in IIT Kharagpur. I’m here to talk about the trainwreck of an initiative, Assimilation Programme, taken up by the institution only after being repeatedly requested over and over by TSA.
Bai (speaking to Kat): *whispering* Skip the part where he says we repeatedly requested him to speak, would you?
Kat: Sure, boss!
Bai: I’m not going to beat about the bush. Kabir, could you tell us what you thought about the recently concluded Assimilation Programme?
Kabir: Are you talking about that programme which was supposed to benefit us sophomores but fell flat on its face?
Bai: Yes, that’s the one.
Kabir: *eye roll* That was a rhetorical question.
*awkward silence*
Kabir: Anyway, it is evident that I’m not a great fan of Assimilation Programme. And that’s because I have not gained anything out of it. Thus, wasting a lot of my time.
Bai: Which one are you referring? Centrally-conducted Assimilation Programme or Hall Conducted Assimilation Programme?
Kabir: The one people gave a fuck about. Hall Conducted one. Perhaps the centrally conducted one would have benefited a lot of people. Many impressive dignitaries spoke very well, but I guess it was beneath the second year students to set some time aside and attend it. *looking at Kat* Hey Kat, you’re a second-year student too, right? You also must have gone to the sessions! Tell Bai how low the attendance was.
Kat: *shuffles nervously* Yeah… um.. it was low.
Bai: *eye rolls Kat* Anyway Kabir, what makes you conclude that Hall Conducted Assimilation programme did not take off as intended?
Kabir: “Did not take off as intended”?! *scoffs* It was a total shitshow. From what I have gathered from seniors, it was no different from the infamous “Orientation Programme”.
Bai (relating to Kabir :’( ): Go on…
Kabir: What was most disappointing was that after I looked at the schedule of the hall Assimilation Programme, I got my hopes up about how good the event was going to be. Big mistake. Community Dinner, Career Conclave, Open Mics were promised along with surprise visits by the VP of Gymkhana. All we got was sessions, which were at least three hours long and sometimes lasted six hours, consisting meaningless screaming, abusing and assertion dominance by seniors over the second year students.
Kat: Whiplash* style, eh?
Bai: Kat, now is not the time. Kabir, please continue.
Kabir: Sometimes the stuff we were asked to do made no sense. Case in point was one time when we were asked to introduce ourselves, and I did so, by saying, “I am Kabir”, and even before I could finish I was drowned in a stream of very crafty expletives, the likes of which would make the writers of Sacred Games proud, because I was supposed to say “My name is Kabir”.
Bai: Has anyone tried to complain or reach out to appropriate authorities?
Kabir: Yeah, we did. Some of us e-mailed the Deans and some others the Director. In fact, DoSA visited a few halls after that. Seniors then took second-year students on a guilt-trip and managed to convince a few that all the screaming was for the benefit of sophomores! In some halls though, the sessions stopped or got less intense after a warning by the DoSA. But in most of the halls, things continued the way they were before.
Bai: Wasn’t there an app introduced by the institute that primarily ensured the smooth conduct of the Assimilation Programme?
Kabir: Yes, but none of us had the balls to register a complaint as the portal was not anonymous. While I understand why the institute requires the complaints to be non-anonymous, I don’t think many students will lodge complaints non-anonymously.
Bai: Was your hall one of the halls that were visited by the Dean?
Kabir: Yes. The Dean mentioned that he had visited quite a few halls before coming to this one and reprimanded us for mailing to the Director, instead of following a proper hierarchy and talking to the Hall Warden first. He also informed us that students in most of the halls did not provide the names of the students involved in the misconduct of the assimilation programme, for obvious reasons.
Bai: That’s all we needed to know. Is there anything you would like to add?
Kabir: The Assimilation Programme was like euphemisms for anal sex. You know, like Ploughing the Backfarms, Uphill Gardening, Bournville Boulevard, Prisoner Style, Smashing the backdoors in…
Kat: *furiously taking notes* Keep ’em coming!
Bai: Get to the point Kabir.
Kabir: Oh, yes. The Assimilation Programme was like euphemisms for anal sex. Pointless, mostly gross but enjoyed by a few. Do I feel Assimilated after the Assimilation Programme? Yes, I do. But I did feel Assimilated even before the Assimilation Programme began.
Bai: On that ugly note we end this interview. Thank you very much for this!
Kabir: Sure, you’re welcome! After all, there’s only so much pleading one can take.
Bai: …
*Whiplash is a movie relevant in this context.
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While Kabir may have been a fictional construct and the interview may or may not have taken place, we did talk to a sizeable number of people and the interview was a compilation of responses we had received.
It can be concluded that there is a general opinion among the masses that the assimilation programme was perhaps unnecessary. Letting it aside, it is clear from their views that the Assimilation Programme did not go as planned.
Here are a few things that could be done to improve the programme:
- Monitoring: There is a need for better monitoring of the activities that take place under the name of Assimilation Programme. Clearly, the surprise visits so planned did not take place. That would keep the miscreants in check.
- Improving the Compliant Channel: The complaint channel setup through the app did not seem to leave a significant impact as students were hesitant to complain. It is understandable that it is necessary that the complainer is identified for authenticity purposes but it is one of the primary reasons for holding the students going through the ordeal from complaining.
- Make Students Aware: There could be sessions conducted before the start of the programme where the students are informed about how to deal with misconduct. This will surely go a long way as the students don’t have any idea how to deal with such acts right now.
Maybe Assimilation Programme is imperative. Maybe it is not. But for it to be called successful, it has to be executed in a much smoother manner than it was.
